sometimes you do things that you've been waiting to do for a long, long time. see the statue of liberty, for example. or run a marathon. maybe you eat six hot dogs and get your picture up on the wall at spike's, or you backpack through a foreign land. whatever it is, you find a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in completing this long-awaited task.

other times, though, you do things that you wouldn't have thought you needed to do, or really, really wanted to do, but when you do them, you think to yourself, "man... had i thought of it earlier, i'd be checking this off the list."

last night was one of those things.

i'd never been in a sailboat before, at least not that i can recall. my dad has an 18-footer (i think), but it's a powerboat, and as fun as it is, we don't take it out as often as we'd like. he works all the time and maintaining a boat is much more demanding than maintaining, say, a car. nonetheless, last night i had the opportunity to head out on the charles river for some moonlight sailing, a program put on by mit.

two girls that i work with (who are not in the internship placement program that brought me here) live in a fraternity house they're renting with others for the summer. it's an mit fraternity, and a couple of their housemates are students at the school. as students, they have access to this sailing opportunity about once a month - right around the full moon, mit allows students with sailing cards (those who have passed a class or an examination or something) to take rhodes 19's out of the boathouse and sail them along the charles. dusk to midnight, you have an hour or so to chill on boston's famous river.

and chill we did. my roommate and a friend of mine both work for the big dig, and amidst the terrible news that came out yesterday, ashley and i (who work together, and who were invited to the sailing excursion with promises of inviting others) decided brandon and emily could use a night on the water. we invited them and, after thinking momentarily that they wouldn't be able to attend because of limited space, finally confirmed their invitation and booked it to the river.

it was amazing. five of us and an experienced mit sailor (named retro, no less) chilled in a rhodes for an hour. i spent a lot of time on the bow, letting my bare feet tickle the charles from toes to ankles. and while i was with some amazing people, while i couldn't ask for a better experience out there, i couldn't help but feel like something was missing. or, better - someone.

what a romantic ride. we won't find a clearer night or a brighter moon this summer. and as i sat next to a great girl, as i joked with my excellent roommate, as i shared stories with my good friends, not one thought of regret crossed my mind.

it wasn't until i returned home and the solitude of my bedsheets that i began to think about what a boat ride like that would have been, say, last summer. or even 3 months ago. i wouldn't have been on there without her. what i wouldn't give to kiss her on the bow of that boat, much like we have a thousand times before, but this one the sweetest yet.

and so a million questions rush between my ears. uncertainties abound. i'll see her this weekend; i'm bringing a bunch of people from my program down to rhode island for the beach, a cookout at al's and waterfire. i'm so excited but so uncertain all at the same time.

and so now i sit with a hypothetical life list in front of me, and i can both add and cross off "sail the river charles" (i can also cross off "climb a tree in cambridge after midnight, without shoes" incidentally). it's a nice sign that the future's not so bleak.

still, there are things on that list that await a strikethrough. others are slowly fading, their future unknown. maybe, like a somewhat impromptu sailing trip on a river, they'll reappear with a refreshing sea breeze - one going my way.