rising in the east.

a setting sun.

2006-09-18T18:13:00.000-05:00

ok, so i lied about the photos. and the stories. well, maybe i'll post about the stories still. and i guess the photos could accompany them... whatever. we'll see. if you're good.

for now, you'll have to settle for my new blog:

setting in the (mid)west

and no, it's not my old livejournal, but the theme is similar to this one, as is the style. it's meant to chronicle my last semester at school. maybe this one will be revived after graduation and relocation (back to boston, with hope!), but no promises.

alright, see you at the other site.

still to come: closure.

2006-08-20T22:40:00.000-05:00

i'm back in lincoln. i've been at the daily nebraskan office every day that i've been here (which is true, since even though my mind thinks i arrived on monday night, it was really 2am tuesday, and later on that day i was in the office). the trip back was... well, it's a story to tell. or a few. or a million.

so much happened between friday and monday, so much that was unexpected, so much that was dreaded, so much that was appreciated... well, some stories to come. and pictures. we gots pictures, yo.

so look for a giant farewell post. a farewell to boston, a farewell to summer, and a farewell to this blog. it will remain here for posterity, but there is only one post left to make. i'd better make this one good, huh?

on endings and pending endings.

2006-08-06T15:01:00.000-05:00

the program's over, and i'm back home missing my friends. that sounds sad and almost pathetic - rest assured, that's not all i'm doing. i'm not one to sulk, and i've been really busy this past week. trips back to beantown (three of them already!), one to newport, good times with old friends, a baseball game (holy shit my sister sang "god bless america" at the pawsox game!), a party.... really, it's been a great week.

but i'm thinking about brandon and his signature phrases, emily and her adorability, caitlin and her uncanny ability to get my humor, and everyone else for everything else they gave me over these last two months. the thirty-or-so of us will never, ever be in the same place at the same time again, and as sad as that is, i'm sitting at my computer chair appreciating it all.

you know what my favorite parts may have been? sitting in my room, some smooth music on, and no fewer than seven others sitting on my bed, brandon's bed, on the floor, leaning against the wall, laughing. we went to a sox game, we took group walks to the public garden at 3am, we went on a whale watch (oh, wait....), saw the boston pops, saw blue man group, had maybe the greatest fireworks experience any of us will ever have, and what will i take from all this? late nights with soft lighting, music and company. nothing will ever beat those nights.

and as much as i owe to them for making these last 8 weeks as great as they have been, i owe these last two weeks to someone else. i've found myself in some of the most uncomfortable and awkward situations recently, leading to some of the most difficult decisions i've ever had to make, but with the bad comes the good, and the good has been great. i've been going through some tough times, as has she, and it's amazing that we found each other when we did. we know where this is going, and it's hard to watch the clock tick down to the end of this experience. but we're both level-headed, reasonable people, and we both see this for what it is.

hopefully we'll look back on this with a smile to appreciate it for what it is, too. i think we will. so, thanks.

what a city.

2006-07-21T07:53:00.000-05:00

my promises of updating more frequently are empty. i like updating this, but i've been busy doing stuff, such as: a sox game at fenway (for FREE... that story's on its way), late night excursions through town, and sunrises. photos soon.

also, i don't think i've felt quite this way since i was fourteen.

(on and) off the list.

2006-07-13T00:42:00.000-05:00

sometimes you do things that you've been waiting to do for a long, long time. see the statue of liberty, for example. or run a marathon. maybe you eat six hot dogs and get your picture up on the wall at spike's, or you backpack through a foreign land. whatever it is, you find a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in completing this long-awaited task.

other times, though, you do things that you wouldn't have thought you needed to do, or really, really wanted to do, but when you do them, you think to yourself, "man... had i thought of it earlier, i'd be checking this off the list."

last night was one of those things.

i'd never been in a sailboat before, at least not that i can recall. my dad has an 18-footer (i think), but it's a powerboat, and as fun as it is, we don't take it out as often as we'd like. he works all the time and maintaining a boat is much more demanding than maintaining, say, a car. nonetheless, last night i had the opportunity to head out on the charles river for some moonlight sailing, a program put on by mit.

two girls that i work with (who are not in the internship placement program that brought me here) live in a fraternity house they're renting with others for the summer. it's an mit fraternity, and a couple of their housemates are students at the school. as students, they have access to this sailing opportunity about once a month - right around the full moon, mit allows students with sailing cards (those who have passed a class or an examination or something) to take rhodes 19's out of the boathouse and sail them along the charles. dusk to midnight, you have an hour or so to chill on boston's famous river.

and chill we did. my roommate and a friend of mine both work for the big dig, and amidst the terrible news that came out yesterday, ashley and i (who work together, and who were invited to the sailing excursion with promises of inviting others) decided brandon and emily could use a night on the water. we invited them and, after thinking momentarily that they wouldn't be able to attend because of limited space, finally confirmed their invitation and booked it to the river.

it was amazing. five of us and an experienced mit sailor (named retro, no less) chilled in a rhodes for an hour. i spent a lot of time on the bow, letting my bare feet tickle the charles from toes to ankles. and while i was with some amazing people, while i couldn't ask for a better experience out there, i couldn't help but feel like something was missing. or, better - someone.

what a romantic ride. we won't find a clearer night or a brighter moon this summer. and as i sat next to a great girl, as i joked with my excellent roommate, as i shared stories with my good friends, not one thought of regret crossed my mind.

it wasn't until i returned home and the solitude of my bedsheets that i began to think about what a boat ride like that would have been, say, last summer. or even 3 months ago. i wouldn't have been on there without her. what i wouldn't give to kiss her on the bow of that boat, much like we have a thousand times before, but this one the sweetest yet.

and so a million questions rush between my ears. uncertainties abound. i'll see her this weekend; i'm bringing a bunch of people from my program down to rhode island for the beach, a cookout at al's and waterfire. i'm so excited but so uncertain all at the same time.

and so now i sit with a hypothetical life list in front of me, and i can both add and cross off "sail the river charles" (i can also cross off "climb a tree in cambridge after midnight, without shoes" incidentally). it's a nice sign that the future's not so bleak.

still, there are things on that list that await a ~~strikethrough~~. others are slowly fading, their future unknown. maybe, like a somewhat impromptu sailing trip on a river, they'll reappear with a refreshing sea breeze - one going my way.

another photo post: the independence day parade.

2006-07-10T21:07:00.000-05:00

tuesday morning, well, it didn't suck. waking up early was a bit tough, but it was worth it. celebrating the country's birth in one of the cities in which it was born is an experience. i'll tell you what, boston knows how to throw a party.

this is just from my morning.

we began at city hall plaza. check these stylish patriots.

entirely authentic, right down to the ray bans. (i tease... i really enjoyed this.)

this group fired at will, it seemed. every now and then we'd be talking and BOOM and we'd jump, and i'd laugh, and we'd be lulled into a sense of complacency and BOOM. it was awesome.

the last batch to be photographed by me at city hall plaza. see how they march.

these strapping lads represented their country well during our stopover at granary burial grounds. wreaths were laid at the graves of the patriots: john hancock, samuel adams, peter faneuil, and robert treat paine. guns were fired.

standing at attention outside the gates.

they carried the flags. they stood in front of the musketeers (is that what they're called? the dudes with the muskets?)

the march down bromfield street, between tremont and washington. sometimes i take this street to get to work in the mornings. now it's in a parade.

the corner of state and congress streets, just before exchange place. this is across the street from the old state house, and just a block or so away from the site of the boston massacre.

this is just before the reading of the declaration of independence from the west balcony of the old state house, just as was done only weeks after the declaration was adopted and signed in 1776 (i think it was closer to july 13, but we'll celebrate early).

fireworks photos forthcoming.

tales of two footballs. and two movies.

2006-07-10T00:27:00.000-05:00

another good day, a solid way to end this week's streak of awesomeness (not a technical term). i slept in while a group of my friends attended service at old north church - famous for shining the two lanterns that sent paul revere on his ride ("one if by land..." etc.). i figured i could have either slept in my bed or slept in a pew. i'll take the egg crates.

after church - and after i awoke - we were planning on meeting up in the ethnically italian north end to watch the world cup finals in a bar or restaurant or something. we figured that'd be the best place, right? eh... not really. i called my friends around 1:30 or so and they were already leaving that place. swamped. hanover street was completely closed and it was a total mob scene. fortunately, the city of boston had set up a gigantic screen at scollay square (government center stop on the green and blue lines) just outside city hall. i met up with them and grabbed d&d just in time to catch france's penalty kick goal, which was sweet, but to miss italy's retaliatory goal about 12 minutes later, since i was still in line waiting for my bagel and iced cawfee.

needless to say, the experience was sweet. we were surrounded by thousands of italian americans chanting "italia! italia!" and who went absolutely batshit during the final shootout. add to that the fact that our party was shown on international television no fewer than 3 times, possibly more, and you can imagine how glad we are that we attended. i'm setting the over-under for overturned cars in the north end at 3, and for structure fires we'll say 2. takers?

what's even better about all this is that i don't even like soccer.

we engaged in a bit of touch football - real, american football, that is - by the charles river for about an hour after we returned, with minimal injuries. 4 guys and 3 girls with a steady quarterback (yours truly). the team with 2 girls and a guy beat the other with 2 guys and a girl, and i have to say, the girls really impressed me. i mean, so did the guys, but one played through a jammed finger, and all scored touchdowns. wednesday we plan to play wiffleball.

after taking our aggression out on each other in 2-hand-touch form, we showered off (er.. separately) for a movie night, something that seems to be turning into a weekly event. tonight's choices: closer and good will hunting (filmed in boston and cambridge, you know). tomorrow night is pi (thanks, q). next week we will find boondock saints. some video store in this city has to have it. i refuse to believe that it's simply not for rent here, despite the fact that the blockbuster branch and the hollywood video branch that we went to simply did not have it. anywhere.

of course, blockbuster was selling it. special edition. $21.99.

er.. no.

and now it's 1:30 and i'm going to sleep. lots of work to do tomorrow. and it's all supposed to start at 9am. we'll see if that happens. a friend/coworker is bent on getting me out of here by 8:30a, but that hasn't happened since the first week (i'm consistently 20 minutes late to work, mainly because nobody has ever said a word to me about it, other than my intern friends).

and i'm still reading 1984.

chowdafest!

2006-07-08T19:05:00.000-05:00

boston's annual chowderfest happened last sunday, as a part of the city's harborfest celebration. twelve area restaurants participated by offering cupfulls of their own versions of the signature regional cuisine. we arrived a little late, but with plenty of time to sufficiently assess each and every sample.

after trying each and every one (averaging about 3 bites per), we all decided that captain parker's pub and restaurant, operating out of west yarmouth (on cape cod) and ned devine's irish pub, homegrown in boston, were the two favorites. we each took one more sample of both ned's and captain parker's and compared, bite by bite, side by side. some of us chose captain parker's, others chose ned devine's (that was my pick). either way, both were delicious. i need to find where in boston ned devine's is and go there. now.

the winners were recently announced: captain parker's took first, the grille at hobbs brooke at the double tree guest suites took second (zuh!?), and ned devine's, heartbreakingly, came in a modest third. they've won the last 2 years! they deserved the trifecta.

some visual supplements:

this is how big most of the samples were. most of them were delicious. some of them were not. this one, if i remember correctly, was, indeed, delicious.

maybe the most typical bostonian i've seen yet. i love this kid. i've never met him. but i did take a picture of him.

these guys were really entertaining, but only for a few minutes. they didn't stay long. there was also some live music, mostly played by old men with trumpets, french horns, etc. lots of fun.

i'm happy. i love my spoon. and there are bubbles happening. awesome.

the (not-quite) golden ticket

there is also a photo of me standing with "the skipper," but it's on a friend's camera/computer and i need to get it from her. it will surface soon.

photos of the parade and ensuing fireworks to come.

a bit of catch-up.

2006-07-08T13:02:00.000-05:00

my posting is lacking. i apologize. i'll fix that this week, i promise. here's a laundry list of what i've done since chillin' on the constitution and the tall ship (a photo update will happen today, after the WATERMELON FESTIVAL):

a friend/coworker of mine and i kicked off boston's harborfest by visiting the faneuil hall and quincy market area for awesome lunches, which included a giant free cake on one day and one of the most impressive street performers i've ever seen.

on sunday, july 2, we visited chowderfest. $10, all you can eat new england clam chowder samples from 12 participating area restaurants. we had 14 samples, but none of us voted.

that evening we began what's developing into a weekly tradition of movie marathons, supplemented by my trip home on saturday to visit family, watch dad shoot off fireworks, and do laundry. i returned with a dvd player. this week's theme was horror: the hills have eyes and friday the 13th were sunday's choices, monday was saw 2. all were entertaining (friday the 13th was a bit of a let-down for me.)

the next day (07/03) we took the T up to revere beach for a few hours and enjoyed the water. we buried my roommate and sculpted the sand in such a way that he appeared to be a mermaid. that evening we went over to the hatch shell on the esplanade, home to the boston pops, for the 4th of july rehearsal. they played great patriotic songs (and some of my least-favorite ones), and were later joined by steven tyler and joe perry of aerosmith. they played "i don't want to miss a thing," "dream on," and the ridiculously amazing "walk this way" (which immediately made me think of the simpsons and cypress hill - "yeah, uh, we think we may have ordered a symphony. can you play 'insane in the brain?'")

the next day was the country's birthday. we saw the parade in the morning, whch we followed from city hall to the graveyard where they laid wreaths at the graves of samuel adams, john hancock, peter faneuil and robert treat paine. after we followed it to the old state house where the declaration of independence was read from the east balcony, the same place it was read about a week after its adoption in 1776. after that we staked out all day on a dock on the charles river (the "public dinghy dock," it's called). we were there, on an doff, for 10 hours, and had completely unobstructed view of the fireworks from the barge on the river. they were loud as hell, but beyond impressive. it was my 4th time in boston for the fireworks, and by far the best experience yet. glenn and krys joined the distinguished scholars on the dock, and all had a night to remember. (wait until you see these pictures.)

thursday night, because a couple of interns here work for a giant film promotion company, we all got free passes to the midnight premier of "pirates of the carribean: dead man's chest." we returned and got to bed at 3:30a to wake for friday's 9-5er. suffice it to say, the movie didn't suck. waking up did.

today my roommate and i woke up about 10 minutes after we were to leave for the group whale watch (which was already paid for by the program). we got to the dock to see the ship pulling away and our friends waving to us. ouch. we saw some street performers over at faneuil hall, though, and got some souveniers and dunkin' donuts. now we're off to the watermelon festival!

pictures to come later on today!

some not-so-tiny ships.

2006-06-28T00:20:00.000-05:00

this weekend we were scheduled to have a community service activity all day saturday. it was called due to rain (on friday), so we had the saturday wide open. fortunately, it was only dreary and overcast, but the heavy stuff held off. we decided to explore some ships, one that calls boston harbor home and another that was just passing through. we had quite the time. (click images for larger, better-quality versions. they'll open in a new tab/window.)

uss constitution

this is the nation's oldest commissioned warship (which means it could still be deployed to the persian gulf). here's the hull of the ship. it looks like there's a little breakfast nook there in the back. had we taken the full tour, i would have asked the official name, but alas, just a 10-minute self-guided tour for us.

here's the main mast. note the ropes. lots of rope on boats.

a closer look at the main mast.

the flag reads "don't tread on me" and with the snake. very naval.

a cannon and life preserver aboard the uss constitution. the preserver even tells you so.

i'm staring down the barrel of a cannon, doing my best wile e. coyote.

now what end of the barrel am i lookin' down, sucka. here's me about to shoot brandon, my roommate, in the face, with (from left) caitlin, megan, ashley, and a dude with an amazing beard looking on.

"juan sebastian de elcano", spanish navy sailing training ship

this is the third largest sailing ship in the entire world. it was parked right next to boston's world trade center for the weekend. it shipped out to portugal yesterday.

spanish flag off the back. muy awesome. (translation: "wicked awesome.")

awww. they're friends.

this is the captain's wheel on the bridge, straight up.

this is some sort of warning system, i think. it's in spanish!

this is the ship's compass, up by all the captain's equipment. my reflection is trapped in there.

a shot from the captain's bridge looking out toward the bow.

muchas banderas.

it was a foggy day, but far from ruined. this is downtown boston, the financial district, from our spot on boston harbor.

coming soon...

2006-06-26T23:51:00.000-05:00

...a new post.

i swear.

with pictures of boats, and my living quarters, and maybe even me. maybe.

and this is all happening tomorrow.

consider me oriented.

2006-06-14T16:38:00.000-05:00

today we had intern/new hire orientation at iib. from 9:30 to 4 we sat and listened to presentations, some really engaging, some not so exciting. and we had an hour lunch, and the beginning of the day involved some dunkin' donuts munchkins and coffee (i've taken to saying "cawfee" lately... i like it).

some points i picked up from orientation:

i knew our organization helped to resettle immigrants and refugees, and in doing so we have to "americanize" them, acculturate them, explain things that we all assume are so basic now that we're so used to it. still, i didn't realize how very basic some of these things are. one woman told of numerous cases where after just a few days, a worker from the office would have to help clients unclog their toilet because they hadn't been flushing. they simply weren't used to plumbing. another told of refugees who spoke fluent english, but who had to be shown how to hold a pencil (fluent but illiterate). it reminded me of amara and his mother (see previous post). he, the five-year-old boy, could recite his abc's. his mother had to copy her name from a printed form. the letters were little more than abstract shapes to her.

living on $983/mo for a family of 7 in boston is not easy. now, couple that with poor/no language skills and travel-weariness and you have the situation some find themselves in.

the people i work with are extremely congenial, helpful, and, above all, dedicated. they're making a strong case for working in the non-profit world after graduation (hopefully during masters' studies).

tomorrow i get to wear jeans to work because all afternoon i, along with other interns and a full-time staffer, will be picking up furniture that will go to furnish a refugee family's future apartment. i don't know if we're bringing it to the apartment tomorrow or what, but it's supposed to be a 12-5 ordeal, which means i'll have about 3 hours of work to do in the morning (only 2 if they let me take lunch at 11). it'll be nice to get out of the cubicle.

on hanging in there.

2006-06-10T12:46:00.000-05:00

work at the institute is... challenging. but only because i'm still learning what is expected of me, and because i'm slightly overwhelmed the more i learn those expectations. they have me working on a newsletter, legal fundraising, supply reorganization (i.e. bitch-work, but it's cool), refugee resettlement / client services, preparing computers for refugees who need them....

the first four days of the week had me wondering if i'd get to do anything fulfilling at all this summer. i was excited to work at the institute because i wanted opportunities to work directly with refugees and asylees, help them find places in the city, help them become acquainted with americana. it didn't look like i'd be doing any of that when i was moving office supplies from one closet to another on tuesday.

but friday was a better day.

i'm working in the resettlement department thursdays and fridays. thursday was lots of orientation and busy office work. on friday, though, most of the morning was taken up with the weekly staff meeting followed by a bit of filing. after taking a long lunch at the original cheers bar on beacon street (my farewell luncheon to lindsay and meg, who i really enjoyed having in town, and who i already miss), i returned to the office to have my supervisor ask me to help an afghani refugee find pearle vision. she had a coupon for a free pair of eyeglasses and needed help finding the store.

finally, some client contact.

nadia was very nice. she asked me how long i'd been working at the institute, and we talked about mundane topics, like the difference in weather between here and afghanistan/india (i imagine she was probably granted asylum in india and relocated to the states). we walked about six city blocks and found the place, no sweat. i said goodbye, shook her hand, and headed back to the office, entirely satisfied that what i was doing was important, that it mattered.

i returned to the office and started doing some computer work. i was falling asleep (pretty literally) until i remembered that i'd left something in another part of the office. when i returned to get it, i learned that my supervisor had been looking for me. she wanted me to sit in on a new client intake meeting. that's when i met amara and his family.

amara is a small liberian boy who traveled here with his mother from guinea, the first country of asylum. their father has been in boston since 2000 and their finally reunified.

the two of them had arrived on wednesday and had made it to the office by friday. the father helped translate to mandinga so his tired wife would know what this american woman (my supervisor in resettlement) meant when she said "call 911 in the case of an emergency" and "if the smoke alarm is going off in your house, just leave immediately."

and while his mother's eyes were heavy with war and travel, amara's were alive with the curiosity of a typical five-year-old. and he was adorable. while his mother knew the most limited english (she had had zero years of education, something that was explained away by her husband - "it's very hard for a woman to have an education in liberia"), he was able to recite his abc's, and he did in front of us.

after the brief orientation and signing a bunch of forms (initially, amara's mother had signed with an 'x,' but my supervisor asked her just to copy her name over from the printoff on another form... "no more x's," she said), i took the three of them to our food and clothing pantries. they picked out clothes for amara and his mother, a few non-perishable foodstuffs, and some toys for the little boy.

on the way out they thanked my supervisor for her help and shook my hand as well. and for the first time all week i felt like what i was doing really mattered.

i think this is going to be a good summer, if only for those shining moments of connection.

i'm being bland right now.

2006-06-08T00:09:00.000-05:00

no pictures yet. and no real deep insight into my internship yet. just know that i really like the place i'm working for, and tomorrow i think it's going to get much, much cooler.

and they gave me lots to do.

i'm also having fun with meg and lindsay, who are in boston for the week. we spent the evening in providence and my friends and i showed them around downtown (not to mention the obligatory stop at spike's).

my apartment/dorm is still sweeter than i could have expected.

i'll expound further this weekend when i have more time. maybe there will be pictures, but no promises. i still don't have a camera. but bear with me. i'm trying.

oh, and the mohawk is gone for the time being.

i live in boston.

2006-06-04T19:27:00.000-05:00

i moved in yesterday.

driving here was an adventure, but we made it, and we moved everything in, and we're impressed. at least i'm impressed.

rather than describing how old and amazing my neighborhood and building are, i'll post pictures soon. but i'll have to borrow a camera because i don't have one and my mom wouldn't lend me hers. hopefully tomorrow night, or maybe tuesday, i'll be able to post them. suffice it to say tat you'll probably be really, really jealous. but i'm cool with that.

most of the people in my program are really cool and i've already made good friends with my roommate and some others here. today we walked around downtown and the north end, just exploring. we ate lunch at the oldest tavern in america (the bell-in-hand, named for the former town crier that owned it in 1795) and it was delicious.

tomorrow meg and lindsay arrive, then tuesday i start my internship at the international institute. this is going to be a great week.

*also, i saw ebu gogo on friday. they're excellent. check out their myspace page and hear some great afro-prog-jazz-metal.

the next step.

2006-06-01T21:42:00.000-05:00

i received my internship placement information yesterday, after waiting a mere 5 months. i'll be working at the international institute of boston, which, in their words:

The Institute provides newcomers with direct and practical assistance in the form of English & literacy courses, Refugee Resettlement services, Citizenship Education, Economic Development, Employment Training & Placement, Legal Aid and Social Services (e.g. crisis intervention, mental health counseling, human trafficking prevention).

and, more particular to me:

Volunteers and Interns are very active in all IIB programs. However, the majority of interns focus on supporting the efforts of our refugee resettlement and legal services, while our volunteers mainly serve as tutors for our Education Department and U.S. Citizenship Center.

that means i'll likely be working in refugee resettlement, which is something i'm really, really excited about.

and, if that weren't enough, here's the location:

in the heart of the city's financial district. and yes, that's boston common. to the right is the hah-bah.

i move in on saturday. tomorrow i pick up my last odds and ends before leaving home again.

i'm getting excited now.

en memoriam

2006-05-30T00:34:00.000-05:00

identity is a curious thing.

today people gathered at cookouts and parades celebrating their identities as americans, coming together to remember the fallen. every year on the same monday they reflect on those who fought wearing america's flag. that or they drink beer. lots of beer.

take a look at me eight weeks ago and ask me who i was. i'd say you were looking at a kid with dreads who likes to write, loves music, enjoys sports and is in a very happy, long-standing relationship with a very sweet girl.

about a month ago the dreads met the scissors. i would no longer be known as "that kid" around campus or on the street. that was a hard thing for me to take, but it was my decision, it was something i wanted to do. there are days that i wish i had them back, and there are days when i'm really happy with my decision to cut them. the regretful days are dwindling, which i think is a good thing.

and today i became a single man, no longer bound by those voluntary cables of monogomous courtship. i don't think it's too much to say that this wasn't my decision. it's going to be very hard for me to come to terms with, but it's something i need to do now. the tears have been cried, the hugs have been squeezed.

and she's not a wench. she's not heartless and she's not selfish. this wasn't an easy decision for her to come to, and, while it tears me up inside, while it means that maybe the most stable thing i've ever had (or what i thought the most stable) is gone, the amount of respect i have for her is immense. she's a strong person, and while she has her battles to fight, she does what she honestly and truly believes is best for her, even if it means challenging something that's been so steady - really, something assumed - for so long. that's the very definition of independence, and it deserves admiration.

she needs to be happy. she deserves it. i know, i know, i'm fulfilling every cliche in the history of breakups - "but, i just want her to be happy! even if that means with someone else..."

but listen. a relationship doesn't last 6 1/2 years without a bond forming. very little of our relationship was sexual; we connected on an emotional and personal level that an end to exclusivity could never break.

after we talked today i picked up a friend of mine and we headed over to a cookout. she was there, i knew she would be. and we all had a good time. there were times that i'd sneak a longing glance in her direction, thinking of her smiling face on a pillow next to mine, or her sleeping on a beach blanket. they're memories that aren't going anywhere.

i couldn't possibly wish ill on a person that has brought me such joy for so long, someone who has treated me better than anyone deserves. she's amazing, and she means more to me than i could write here. and while this split is far from goodbye (we'll be hanging out in mixed company this week), i think i can still wish her well.

in the interest of dodging another cliche, i won't call this a new chapter in my life (that would be trite). let's say the album's previous track has just faded out. right now i'm still in that pre-track countdown that some poorly-mixed cds have - it's called negative space. soon enough the next piece will be slowly building, and we'll see what sort of rhythms it brings (i move to boston on saturday... maybe this one will have an irish folk-punk air about it).

and who knows. maybe our song will play again. i'd really like that - i always thought we made a great duet. but for now the soliloquy will be my sound.

i suppose i'll have to see where i am a revolution from now. to be sure, today took on a new meaning. for me, memorial day will no longer be about the fallen soldiers. now it's about the memories.

new summer blog.

2006-05-27T13:11:00.000-05:00

welcome to my new home for the next 3 months. please update your bookmarks and web links accordingly.

i'm back in rhode island for the moment, just sort of wasting a saturday. the drive back went well, i worked five days this past week, and next saturday i move into the brownstones at boston university. i learned a little more about my internship this summer, which is to say that the placement has been narrowed down to either physicians for human rights or the international institute of boston. either will be sweet, and i'll be updating when i learn exactly where i'll be working (i start a week from this tuesday - that means it will be soon).

this initial post will be short, as i'm on the family computer (mine has not been accepted onto the wireless network, and it would be too expensive to just set it up for a week). i'll post regularly from boston on my experiences up there, which will kick off wonderfully as two good friends of mine will be in town the first week i'm there. i'm really looking forward to that.

*note: this background image is intended to be viewed with a screen resolution of 1024 x 768. if it looks, well, bad, please either resize the window or adjust your resolution. but trust me, it looks pretty alright at 1024 x 768.